Someone was going to get slapped, and other stories about the patriarchy.

Last week I had dinner with some friends, among them a relatively new addition to the group who had been a stay at home dad for the first few years of his son's life. 

With his son now heading off to school, his wife wanted him to get a job in order to help with the bills. 

And he was having a really hard time with it.

He started telling the group that it was really difficult because he couldn't figure out how to manage dropping his son off at school, going to work, picking his son up and then coming home to deal with housework and dinner making etc. He was really overwhelmed and didn't think it was possible.

He was angry that he was expected to both care for his son and have a job…

Every woman at the table just stared at him. One of them looked so annoyed I was afraid she would slap him.

After the initial amusement and irritation of the women wore off, everyone started giving him advice on how to make it work and ways that they managed to pull it off. 

It was quite the education for him. 

Listening to the various pieces of wisdom everyone offered him reminded me yet again that the system we live in, was not designed for us. 

The system of working and making money is not set up for the needs of caregivers. Whether you have children, or you’re the primary person who cares for your home environment, the system is not made for us. 

In fact it works against us. 

In the United States, nearly 40% of households now have a woman as the primary “breadwinner”, defined as the person contributing 60% or more of the total household income.  While nearly 70% of women report still being fully responsible for child and home care.

Which means the system isn't changing fast enough to reflect the massive shift in economic realities over the last few decades. 

This is just one of the reasons why I LOVE seeing more and more women owning their own businesses. 

In no other environment do women have the level of control over their time and incomes than in self employment. 

In very few other forms of employment do women have the ability to design their life, responsibilities and priorities in a way that actually works FOR them. 

It's also well documented that in female owned businesses there is higher employee retention, partially due to more flexibility to allow for family priorities and a greater focus on the well-being of employees. 

Which to me means that women owning and running successful businesses is part of the pathway to changing the system. 

Business ownership is female empowerment. 

And I’m here for it!