Comparison is the thief of potential.

There's an expression that says “Comparison is the thief of joy” but I think it's far worse than that. 

Comparison is also the thief of potential and of self belief. 

Culturally we have this idea that comparison will push us to greater heights, that competition makes us strive to be better than we are. 

And sometimes it does, but it comes at a cost because of what it does to our self of self worth. 

When I was 10, I had a teacher who kept a star chart in the classroom. Every time we did something well we would be rewarded with a star. I think there was some kind of reward for the person who got the most, but to be honest I had no interest in the end prize, only in my own stars. 

I was extremely proud of my stars and how hard I had worked to get them, until one day when I was showing them off, it was pointed out to me that someone else had more stars. 

Which was true. And which was said in a very loving way in order to motivate me to strive for more. 

Instead of inspiring me to try harder and achieve more stars. It shut me down. 

Because what I took from that experience was that my stars weren't enough. I wasn't good enough. 

So why bother trying at all. 

I stopped even trying to get stars. 

I had the same experience of being a classical singer, in my jobs, relationships and even in my early days as a coach. 

Allowing myself to play the comparison game, or “compare and despair” as I've heard it called, shut me down and stopped me from actually making any kind of progress at all. 

Until I stopped doing it to myself because I learned to understand the mechanism that it relies on. 

The fear of not being good enough and risking being rejected. 

When we compare we will always lose. Because no matter what, we can always find someone who does something “better” or who is smarter, more talented, more successful or whatever.

Which means that inevitably comparison tells us we aren’t good enough.

There are generally two responses to comparison. Drive harder to try to prove yourself, or give up entirely. 

If you’re striving from a desire to see what you are personally capable of, it can be thrilling and motivating. 

If you’re doing it to prove you’re good enough, it will never be enough. 

If driving harder is your response, you’re also eventually guaranteed to fail and burn out, because you will always find someone who does it better, especially if you're always on the lookout for someone doing it better than you. 

Every world record eventually gets broken. Every achievement is eventually surpassed.

I’d love you to take a look at your life, your work and what you believe is your potential and ask yourself where you're comparing yourself. Be honest with the impact that it has on you. 

And I want to offer you a different perspective. 

The world has plenty of space for all of us, with your various gifts and abilities. It’s only in allowing ourselves to truly be who WE ARE without comparison or judgment that we are most able to fulfill our potential. 

Comparison offers us nothing of value. It’s literally just shooting yourself in the foot. 

The freedom to allow your potential to unfold without comparison will lead you to a much greater level of success than you currency believe is possible.