I was so jealous of her that I wanted to block her on Instagram.

Recently I felt a wave of jealousy and resentment wash over me as I saw a colleague achieve something really amazing. 

I was so puzzled because I am also so proud of her and what she's doing with her work, so I couldn't figure out why I was feeling that creepy green eyed monster that made me want to scroll through everything she's ever done and copy her and at the same time, dismiss everything she's done and block her on Instagram!

And after a little while of feeling the yucky, sticky mean girl moment I sat down to dig into WHY. 

When I was younger I experienced jealousy all the time. I would find myself deliberately going to see what people I was jealous of were doing, and then spend weeks in this crazy spiral of shame because I wasn't doing what they were. 

It wasn't until I understood what jealousy actually is that I was able to stop my secret hater stalking. 

We think jealousy is about other people having something we don't, but it's actually much deeper than that. 

It's not about the other person at all. 

Jealousy is what we experience when we think that what someone else has or is… is not possible for us. 

Experiencing jealousy really just means that somewhere in our subconscious, we have a belief about ourselves that limits what we think we’re capable of. 

When I really understood that, I realized that feeling jealous was a great way to see where subconsciously I was holding myself back. 

I Think of jealousy as a “check engine” light for our self image. When it comes up, it means something that I think about myself has surfaced. 

In this case, I realized that I was looking at my friend's achievement and unconsciously thinking…

“Well that's great for her… but I could never do that. 

So now I’m setting out to prove myself wrong, 

because that is the power of being jealous. When you’re able to see it for what it truly is it can be a powerful tool to help you see yourself in a different and more empowering way.